My Heart, My Choices

I have often wondered why people blog. Why do we as humans feel the need to put our thoughts on paper. It's because that is how history is made. The important part for me is not how I am living but how I will be remembered. That being so, I feel the need to share a recent experience.

Last night, Friday, 07 July 2017 I was invited to attend the winter ball for Mrs Commonwealth by a very good friend. I was truly excited to attend as it was for a good cause, supporting the Pink Drive, and as some of you may or may not know, I am a cancer survivor too and hadn't been out in months as my daughter had passed away so my husband and I looked forward to having a 'date night', however I have to admit that I must have ruined it for him for the following reasons;

They played beautiful music, and every song reminded me of Chanelle and I told him so, EVERY SONG. I don't know how I managed to keep the tears at bay but I managed to hold it together. Because Chanelle loved dancing and acting her whole life certain songs and music holds treasured memories. You know how a certain smell will remind you of a time and place in your life? Well for me it's music.

Then came 10:00pm and now I was really struggling because my daughters accident occured some time after 10:00pm on the 17th of March this year. My imagination started running riot with scenes I can only imagine. I smiled, I chatted, I sang along to 'Elvis' but inside I was dying. ......And the Oscar goes to ME!

Last night was a valuable moment of realisation and growth for me. My husband chose to dwell in the moment and I chose to dwell in the past and what if's. We attended the same function but had different outcomes, by choice.

So I guess what I'm truly trying to say is that we need to make our own choices on how we live, feel and interact with each other. No-one else but you can make it better, for you!

Thank you for taking the time to read this and if you have a similar story please feel free to share it with us.